We all love fantasies.
Who does not have weird and wonderful secret desires?
I know I have a few.
They can be incredibly different.
Sex with a sportsman.
Sex with a fireman.
They mill about in your mind.
You picture them in detail.
How they would play out.
The things you would do, the things the ‘other’ would do.
The feelings, the emotions, the sensory fulfillment.
You imagine them taking place in a separate reality.
No matter what the fantasy, one thing tends to stay constant.
Mutual respect, desire, affection and pleasure.
The Dom fantasy is a recurring one.
But how close is the fantasy to reality?
It would appear that reality is radically different from fantasy.
The lifestyle Dom is not Mr Grey.
He does not want to fall in love with you and smack your ass until you come.
The relationship between a Dom and his Sub can typified as transient.
It lasts a few years, the Dom ‘teaches’ the Sub all he knows and then they part.
The then Dom finds a new toy.
One that peaks his interest again.
The Sub seeks a new Master, who can teach her what the old Master could not.
There is no love.
The Dom does not want to marry his Sub.
The Dom wants to marry “marriage material”.
A Sub is not for marriage.
Only for amusement.
That is not to say that he does not care for his Sub.
He cares for her in a peculiar way.
He will be protective but
He will dominate.
He will humiliate.
He will degrade for both their satisfaction.
But he will also not let another ‘hurt’ his Sub.
The relationship is more like a string of hook ups.
He will find new ways to subjugate his Sub.
That romantic dinner followed by a spanking and hot sex?
No, that only happens in books.
Some things really are better in fantasy.
Thank you Master J and Sub A for your help with this post.
Does it disappoint you to know that BDSM relationships might not be the stuff of 50 Shades?