Fantasy Friday: Boring Husbands

keep-calm-and-love-your-sexy-husband-4

This is actually a delicate matter.

You spend your days reading about hot men ravishing you.

You dream about getting fucked in every position possible, and doing things that would make a nun blush.

And then….

Then….

Your husband comes home and you see what you have.

It’s not that you don’t fancy him anymore.

He still looks good.

Treats you right….mostly….

It’s just that.

Well, you know….

He’s nothing like Mr Darcy.

And he’s certainly no Mr Grey.

In fact he is pretty boring, in bed.

It wasn’t always this way.

Or so you tell yourself.

Actually it was.

He was always boring, but then so were you.

But people change.

You have, he hasn’t.

So after a life time of missionary position sex, how do you tell him you want to get freaky?

It’s easier said than done.

Leave some porn lying about?

Kids will find it.

Let him find some sex toys?

He will feel intimidated.

How about you just tell him.

I know, I know.

You just couldn’t possibly communicate.

Heaven forbid!

I’ll let you in on a secret.

When he’s watching porn, what do you think he’s watching?

He’s not watching people hold hands and whisper sweet nothings to each other.

He’s watching the good stuff.

He likes freaky.

He’s just afraid to tell you.

He wants freaky.

He wants to treat you like a whore, but he doesn’t want you to feel like one.

What you have failed to realize is that you are just like him.

Repressed.

To afraid to talk about what you want.

Oh I’m wrong am I?

Pick up the phone and call him.

Tell him there is an emergency, he needs to get home and fuck you right away!

Get freaky!

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