When I was a kid I was afraid of the dark.
I used to think there were monsters that lived in the shadows.
As soon as the lights went out they would devour me.
I used to cry out like a baby.
These days I fear no one.
No one that is, apart from my beloved Houseguest.
She really is quite demented.
I never know what she’ll do next.
She is obsessed with embarrassing me in public.
Only last night she was telling some poor girl I had her tattooed onto my torso.
The girl in question was sporting the Betty Page look.
Go on, take you top off and show her!
Why am I so powerless to resist her?
Oh the shame.
Though having said that, my torso does look fine.
I truly fear her!
I’m a big scary cat.
You never know what she will do next.
And when I protest?
Oh Robert! Stop being such a big baby.
No, I won’t do that!
She will accept no disobedience.
That she makes perfectly clear.
She has choked me in public.
Obey me Robert!
Oh those soft manicured hands……
Just wait until I get you home……
Oh god yes!
Let’s go right now!
Are you afraid of your partner?