Very few people know this, but Irish people are incredibly socially awkward.
Thankfully we have a ready to go cure.
We use it whenever we need courage.
Never more so than on dates.
Take my good friend Frank, he needs a drink or two on a date.
On his most recent date:
One pint to warm up as he waited for her in the pub.
Then a bottle of wine together.
Off to the restaurant.
One G&T each.
Two bottles of wine over dinner.
One digestif each.
Leave restaurant so drunk, fail to pay bill.
Waiter chases after them! (large tip to waiter)
In the bar.
One more bottle of wine.
Two rounds of whiskey.
Only now is Frank drunk enough to invite date back to his place.
Three rounds of Baileys on the sofa.
Drunk enough to sneak a kiss and fumble.
Finally up to bed……and they pass out drunk.
Wake up in the morning, fully dressed, with hangovers that would kill most.
The really bizarre thing is that Frank is bi sexual.
I asked him to compare a girlie date to a man date.
When he wants cock, he logs on, picks his poison, and asks his to come over to fuck.
No drink required, well maybe a coffee after.
So I ask you ladies, why are you so scary?