Wicked Wednesday: A Guest blog: Book Boyfriends & our sex lives.

Hot Boyfriend

Have Book Boyfriends caused unrealistic expectations in our sex lives? 

Book Boyfriends (BB’s) are not exactly new territory; authors and authoresses have been creating ‘head over heels’ characters for 100’s of years.  One of the most famous BB’s has to be Mr Darcy of Pride and Prejudice by the wonderful Jane Austen.  That goddamn Mr Darcy has me undone every time, of course most famously brought to life by Colin Firth (1995) and Matthew Macfadyen (2005). I’m swooning as I type thinking about these two men brooding in britches……Sorry where was I oh yes BB’s!  Of course back in the days of Jane Austen kissing was barely tolerated in books never mind hot sex!  Although I’m pretty sure Mr Darcy was a beast in the bedroom, all that brooding only means one thing to me……..Sorry got lost in my thoughts again.

The reason I’m writing this post is that just over a year ago I read Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James and loved it.  Like smoking cannabis it was a gateway drug to other hot erotic stories, I think I read most of Sylvia Day’s books over last summer and am now hooked on the Crossfire Series.  I am going to list all of my BB’s with no apology:

Christian Grey – FSOG

Gideon Cross – Crossfire Series

Adrian Mitchell – Renegade Angels

Aidan Cross – Dream Guardians

Gabriel Emerson – Gabriel’s Inferno

Jesse Ward – This Man Series

Travis Maddox – Beautiful Disaster

Gabriel Wilde – Saviour

Ryan Matthews – The Remembrance Trilogy

Jack Hamilton – Redhead Series

Kellan Kyle – Thoughtless Series

Blake Hartt – Poughkeepsie

All these men have worked their way in to my mind and most definitely my sex life! The reason I love these BB’s so damn much is that not only are they hot as but also they worship their women, let’s call them Book Girlfriends (BG’s).  These guys seem to drop to their knees and worship (eat pussy) at the drop of a hat and appear to make giving their BG’s the best orgasm ever their only goal in life! I’ve read and devoured every sex scene and most definitely used the feelings of arousal to my advantage.  I believe these books have benefited men and women alike; they’ve made women horny or just hornier (holding hand up) and their lovers’ very lucky boys!!

But and there is a But coming! Has all this reading of endless hot sex lead to unrealistic expectations in our love lives? I mean seriously the amount of time these characters seem to have sex is truly amazing; I’m not quite sure how they manage to work for a living! Most women take time to get ready for work in the morning, shower, hair, make-up, getting children ready for school, wasting time on Twitter (guilty as charged) etc…. I get up at 6am most mornings, if I had to fit in a hot shagging sesh everyday before the office I’d never make it out the door or I’d be getting up at 5am! The reality of being a working mother is that you can’t waltz through the door at 5.30pm hop on to hubby and fuck like there’s no tomorrow. Most women don’t have the luxury of being seduced and licked senseless every night before bed.  The reality is that sometimes a morning shag is on the cards but normally at the weekend when the kids are asleep or out at the grandparents.  Sometimes you can walk in from work find and only hubs in the house and sneak in a cheeky quick one.   Sometimes you have the evening to yourselves and can be like teenagers and snog all night long and really concentrate on pleasuring each other. Sometimes is the operative word here, not all the time.

So that was my first But and here’s my second But.  These characters have the highest quality sex lives ever! They manage to give each other multiple orgasms every time they have sex, lucky fucking bastards is what I say to that! And I also say horseshit, I do not believe that most couples are truly having that much high quality sex every time; I don’t care what people may protest its crap! Sometimes you have amazing sex with your lover, the kind that makes you smile at your desk and get a tingle in your tummy the following day but generally you’re just having good sex that satisfies your need and sends you off to sleep.  I will totally admit to the duty shag, hand or blowjob just so I can go to sleep (or read a book haha).

My third But is that the kind of sexual acts some of these BB’s and BG’s are engaging in so quickly into their relationships sometimes alarms me.  I’ve read a scene where the characters are having anal sex on the first sexual encounter and the female is meant to be an anal virgin and the male is described as having a huge cock! Now having recently read Robert’s Guide to Anal and other discussions I’ve had with experienced people I just don’t see how that was possible?! I was also disturbed that he then fucked her pussy moments later without cleansing! (Antibiotic alert) I think these kinds of sex scenes can make women maybe feel inadequate? I’ve been obsessing about anal sex for months and months worrying that I’m a prude because I’ve not plucked up the courage to do it!

Anyway the point I’m trying to make is that although I love my BB’s I’m a realist and I accept that I’m unlikely to have the sex life of Christian & Ana or Gideon & Eva.  In all honesty I don’t want their sex lives, I really don’t have time for it because I am a real woman with a very real life, a real husband and a real child.  I live in reality, I just dip into the fantasy of BB land as entertainment, BB’s are my new television.  I realise that as long as I’m happy with my sex life then I don’t need to worry about if I’m good enough or kinky enough.  At night when I turn the lamp off and I’m tired and spent from the toil of real life I can hear my lovely husband breathing next to me and I’m happy because he’s my real husband my Real Boyfriend my RB.

Mags x

Why not read one of my short taster novels.

Femme Fatale: Slave to My Nature Series eBook: Robert India: BUY FROM KINDLE STORE 

Femme Fatale

Svetlana in Heels: A short story about the power of beautiful feet eBook: Robert India: BUY FROM KINDLE STORE

Svetlana in Heels

17 thoughts on “Wicked Wednesday: A Guest blog: Book Boyfriends & our sex lives.

  1. Great thought provoking guest post by Miss Mags 😉

    Good Fiction to me is like a daydream, it nourishes the imagination, stimulates our interest in life and heightens your understanding of the world around you …through different experiences or points of view!

  2. Erotica is about all i ever read. Love my BB’s! Is the sex unrealistic? Yes, probably. But it does make me hornier than i already am. i feel like a 60 year old nymphomaniac most of the time. i’m with Robert. i feel good romance or erotica should enhance your real life not just your fantasies. It would be very frustrating otherwise. (Of course i guess you could take things into your own hands so to speak! lol) i am lucky, in that even though my husband has ED, he takes a Viagra every day and tries his damndest to please me. He eats me every day, sometimes several times a day, till i orgasm, and we do have sex almost every day. (Of course i reverse the favor as well.) We have come to discover that this is definitely not the norm for couples our age, (60 & 70) or most any couple really. i know, though, that i am a very lucky woman to have a husband who loves me so much. Robert and HG have pointed this out to me several times recently and instead of complaining ábout not having the kinky sex i’d like, i am now treasuring what i do have.

  3. Damn, Karen. I really hope I have what you do when I’m 60 and Robert is 100! LOL

    And all that kinky sex you read about on the internet is mostly made up, as are the people claiming to have it. As Mags pointed out, real people have real lives, and anyone who believes otherwise is simply an easily deceived fool. As long as erotica readers are AWARE of that and use it to enhance their everyday lives, then great. It is troublesome, however, how many women believe all they read. For whatever reason, men are rarely so gullible.

    1. Thanks HG, so pleased you liked it. Of course there is a place for erotica & fantasy in the everyone’s sex life just as long as we know the difference & don’t try compare ourselves to Christian & Ana because that’s almost unachievable. Almost!

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