Coitus Interrupt-Us

So why did I do it to myself? It seemed like a good idea at the time. Listen, all I wanted was a couple of weeks on the ‘no sex wagon’ to straighten myself out, and put my recent trials behind me.  Sometimes a man just needs a break from crazy femme fatales and mammy’s boys.

It was all going fine, for a while, and not even the sight of another man eating Houseguest’s pussy was enough to break me.

Emboldened with my newfound strength, I agreed to meet Houseguest for after-work drinks and dinner on Friday night.

Oh Lordy!

She attended dinner in a tiny, low-cut dress and a pair of black, Prada 6 inch heels. Even by her standards, that was playing dirty. We had drinks, with me in a stunned silence.

I was fucked! I knew it. She knew it.  It was just a question of when the killer blow would be delivered.

“Robert darling, you’re dribbling”. Yes, I was. The wait was killing me.

“I need to fuck you right now, you fucking whore”. My resolve broke in a wave of sexual lust.

“But Robert, sweetie, what about your fast?” Yeah sure, like you care!

“Fuck my fast”. Fasting is for fools.

With that, I dragged her seductive ass to the disabled toilet, bent her over the sink, and sank my cock in her wet pussy before my trousers had time to hit the floor. Yanking her head back by her hair, I licked her neck to mark my prize. “You’re mine”.

After five days without sex, I just had to come. To her disappointment, I did in about 30 seconds!

“What the hell!”  Houseguest was not pleased. After all that build up, oops.

In a huff, she spun around and caught me flush in the face with the side of her head. Holding my eye, I stepped back into the fucking disabled toilet alarm!

Could it get any worse?

Within seconds, someone was knocking loudly at the door. “Hello. You’ve activated the alarm. Do you require assistance?” God help us!

Staggering out of the loo, my trousers barely pulled up, I fell into the waiter’s arms and sobbed, “I really needed that”. Thank you waiter for hugging me back.

Rapidly followed by Houseguest, who was looking a bit disheveled, pissed off and sporting a sore head.

She scowled at us both, “For fuck sake, Robert!”

All night, Houseguest exquisitely punished me, until I promised never to deprive her of orgasms ever again, or come within 30 seconds of entering her.

Her reward, breakfast in bed and a trip into town to buy some sexy heels.

Oh, and the black eye I’m sporting this morning? That’s a reminder to me, that abstinence is a danger to my health. Never, ever, again!

So let the whole world (Dublin) know, that Robert is back and is ready to party!



Have you ever been in a similar situation? What would you do?

Share your thoughts with me!

Click on the speech bubble on the top right to leave a comment

13 thoughts on “Coitus Interrupt-Us

  1. 6 inch heels… Houseguest really did pull out all the stops!! Still can’t believe you lasted five days, surprised us all I think.

      1. What happened to the strong willed, rugby player? As for the 30 seconds… Let’s be honest, you were never going to last the distance… Sure you’ll more than make it up to her!!

  2. *shakes head* Tut, tut Robert! 6 inches was all it took to sway you …. I bet even Rick can’t offer that length! 😉

    *high fives Houseguest* xxx

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