I read somewhere once that a female mantis eats the head of her suitor during mating . Of course, the male knows what’s coming, but he is powerless to resist his urges. He must mate, regardless of the cost. Thankfully, he can carry on doing the ‘deed’ even after he’s had his top chopped off. I fear that I too am a male preying mantis heading towards certain doom. How am I ever to resist my carnal urges?
With my true nature and my potential downfall milling about my head, I met Mrs. X for a lunch time drink yesterday. Enough pussy-footing around. I asked her straight out; what does Mr. X want to do to me, while we are fucking?
Her answer took me by surprise. “Who said that I want to fuck you?”
Well, of course, I just assumed……why the hell wouldn’t she?!
She must have seen the surprise and disappointment in my face. I sometimes get this sad puppy dog look, when I think I’m not going to get what I want. Occasionally, it works, but mostly, it doesn’t.
“You’re so silly! It’s Mr. X, who is going to fuck you sweetheart. I’m going to whip you, while he does you. I thought you knew?”
I’m sure the look on my face must have been priceless.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse. My friend, Rick, and I need to have words. Damn it, but he never said she would want to punish me too! How could I have been so wrong about this whole thing?
Mrs. X took mercy on me then. “Don’t worry Robert. When he’s done with you, then he’ll leave us alone to play. We’ll have our own fun too”.
So there it is; the price of getting my hands on Mrs X is to get boned by a psychopath and whipped for all my efforts!
My head is totally fried. And just like the male preying mantis, I know I’m utterly fucked!
Have you ever been in a similar situation? What would you do?
Share your thoughts with me!
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